X FACTOR USA.
Simon defeated the whole idea of a sing off between the bottom 2 when he decided to leave his decision between Leroy & Marcus to what America voted. If that was the intention, then there would have been no need for the sing off. If an aggregate performance were needed to reach a decision then there would be no need for a sing off.
Leroy was clearly the better of the 2 in the sing off with Marcus; even L.A Reid said so but had to be partisan in his voting cos Marcus is from his camp. That Nicole sent home the wonderful Rachel was sweet revenge which makes me sad for Rachel but is what Simon deserves. I admire Simon but in this instance he was a twat.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
patrick hornblower: GO FORTH & MULTIPLY: MISSING SCROLLS
patrick hornblower: GO FORTH & MULTIPLY: MISSING SCROLLS: Ancient Biblical scrolls discovered in the River Niger, especially in the Niger Delta area have clarified the much disputed stance the Bible...
GO FORTH & MULTIPLY: MISSING SCROLLS
Ancient Biblical scrolls discovered in the River Niger, especially in the Niger Delta area have clarified the much disputed stance the Bible holds on Population control.These addendums were supposedly restricted by some powerful manufacturers who relied on cheap child labour to build their empires; they were supported by Drug Barons & Paedophiles.
Here are the findings:
The bible says “Go ye forth and multiply but with the following conditions”:
A.1) it is not compulsory for farmers to reserve a ¼ of their farmland to growing ovulation inducing herbs.
A.2)Companies that produce male sex enhancing drugs must provide for its clients at no extra costs infertile women, women past child bearing age or any woman declared barren by the native doctor(for non-believers) or the local Rabbi. If after all of these a woman bears a child, that child will be declared a ward of the rabbi or native doctor & the company will pay the maintenance allowance.
A.2b) Further to the above, companies will be encouraged to go into producing wanking & masturbating equipment. Any company that intends to go into wanking & masturbating equipment will be heavily subsidized & duties reduced to a minimal.
B) Encourage men to consume excess alcohol, as it is likely to kill them or in the interim reduce their libido.
C) At the count of 6 billion (World pop), restrict child bearing to one per two couples. To determine which couples breed, couples will be paired up & they will draw straws or toss a coin when it is invented.
D) Continuing on the above, space exploration must be intensified & budgets multiplied 10 fold with a view to settling other planets even if all of Africa is perishing from famine.
E) At population 7 billion, all procreation must cease & we must wait for all those over 70yrs to die before resumption. This will affect the west more adversely thereby leaving more room for 3rd world countries.
F) At this stage, artificial contraception must be encouraged; immediate pill, overnight pill, 48hr pill, condoms & when necessary, the dreadful abortion. Forget all about safe periods, coitus interuptus, interuptus coitus, drinking excess gin/vodka, doing it when it is half moon & mars is over Jupiter.
G)Women in particular can help with little effort: Tell your partner just when he’s about to do it that he’s the smallest you ever had; call his mother a whore & that you slept with his boss or driver. The problem is that there might be a case of homicide arising.
H) Women with beards, moustache & hairs on the chest are exempted from all of the above & they may have as many lovers & children as they please. Their children will have priority in government employment. After all how many want to be seen with bearded women. They will also have free supply of shaving kits.
Here are the findings:
The bible says “Go ye forth and multiply but with the following conditions”:
A.1) it is not compulsory for farmers to reserve a ¼ of their farmland to growing ovulation inducing herbs.
A.2)Companies that produce male sex enhancing drugs must provide for its clients at no extra costs infertile women, women past child bearing age or any woman declared barren by the native doctor(for non-believers) or the local Rabbi. If after all of these a woman bears a child, that child will be declared a ward of the rabbi or native doctor & the company will pay the maintenance allowance.
A.2b) Further to the above, companies will be encouraged to go into producing wanking & masturbating equipment. Any company that intends to go into wanking & masturbating equipment will be heavily subsidized & duties reduced to a minimal.
B) Encourage men to consume excess alcohol, as it is likely to kill them or in the interim reduce their libido.
C) At the count of 6 billion (World pop), restrict child bearing to one per two couples. To determine which couples breed, couples will be paired up & they will draw straws or toss a coin when it is invented.
D) Continuing on the above, space exploration must be intensified & budgets multiplied 10 fold with a view to settling other planets even if all of Africa is perishing from famine.
E) At population 7 billion, all procreation must cease & we must wait for all those over 70yrs to die before resumption. This will affect the west more adversely thereby leaving more room for 3rd world countries.
F) At this stage, artificial contraception must be encouraged; immediate pill, overnight pill, 48hr pill, condoms & when necessary, the dreadful abortion. Forget all about safe periods, coitus interuptus, interuptus coitus, drinking excess gin/vodka, doing it when it is half moon & mars is over Jupiter.
G)Women in particular can help with little effort: Tell your partner just when he’s about to do it that he’s the smallest you ever had; call his mother a whore & that you slept with his boss or driver. The problem is that there might be a case of homicide arising.
H) Women with beards, moustache & hairs on the chest are exempted from all of the above & they may have as many lovers & children as they please. Their children will have priority in government employment. After all how many want to be seen with bearded women. They will also have free supply of shaving kits.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
patrick hornblower: Dirty stinking politics.
patrick hornblower: Dirty stinking politics.: "Campaigns, elections, thuggery, rigging, mayhem, lies, false promises, ghost voters, anarchy, anarchists, vengeance, fools, idiots, smart, s..."
Dirty stinking politics.
Campaigns, elections, thuggery, rigging, mayhem, lies, false promises, ghost voters, anarchy, anarchists, vengeance, fools, idiots, smart, sharp, intelligent, stupid, mad, sane, but most of all abuse of power & position. These are but a few of the things that we identify during an electioneering period. Politics is dirty everywhere but dirtiest here.
The pity is that in Nigeria all of these things & many more do exist.
About 1pm today, I left home to go somewhere no more than 2kms away, which I normally cover in about 7mins. 1.5hrs later am still deep in traffic with my destination still only some 5mins away. I then discovered that Remi Tinubu was the reason for the traffic chaos.
With the collaboration of the Police & other agencies responsible for traffic control, I watched as vehicles with her stickers & posters broke every traffic rule while we suffered with clenched teeth. Remi has come to be because of her husband Bola Tinubu who will not let go of Lagos politics & wishes to install every crony of his into power & position & further more create a dynasty. Has he been watching the developments in the Middle East & the Gulf region?
I do not wish to find out if Remi Tinubu is qualified for this position; this act of total disregard for the rule of law, aided by her husband’s ruffianly ways have made her , as far as am concerned, ineligible for the position.
I wish all other candidates good luck but best of luck to my friend Dapo Durosinmi Etti..
The pity is that in Nigeria all of these things & many more do exist.
About 1pm today, I left home to go somewhere no more than 2kms away, which I normally cover in about 7mins. 1.5hrs later am still deep in traffic with my destination still only some 5mins away. I then discovered that Remi Tinubu was the reason for the traffic chaos.
With the collaboration of the Police & other agencies responsible for traffic control, I watched as vehicles with her stickers & posters broke every traffic rule while we suffered with clenched teeth. Remi has come to be because of her husband Bola Tinubu who will not let go of Lagos politics & wishes to install every crony of his into power & position & further more create a dynasty. Has he been watching the developments in the Middle East & the Gulf region?
I do not wish to find out if Remi Tinubu is qualified for this position; this act of total disregard for the rule of law, aided by her husband’s ruffianly ways have made her , as far as am concerned, ineligible for the position.
I wish all other candidates good luck but best of luck to my friend Dapo Durosinmi Etti..
Monday, March 14, 2011
patrick hornblower: NATURE UNLEASHED..
patrick hornblower: NATURE UNLEASHED..: "Krakatoa, Indonesia, 1833; arguably the biggest volcanic eruption ever witnessed by modern man. Explosions could be heard 3500kms away; ship..."
NATURE UNLEASHED..
Krakatoa, Indonesia, 1833; arguably the biggest volcanic eruption ever witnessed by modern man. Explosions could be heard 3500kms away; ships as far away as South Africa were rocked by Tsunami waves & global weather was affected in many ways. There have been some serious eruptions in the not too distant past with or without Tsunamis. On many occasions, nature has shown man its violent spirit but man has refused to hate it; au contraire, man loves nature because Nature nurtures him. His most important requirements are provided by Nature & yet man knows that Nature is capable of more destruction than all the atomic & nuclear bombs put together.
While enjoying the sweeter part of Nature, we are constantly working at disrupting Nature on its violent path; can we win? I doubt it.
Japan, one of the most advanced countries in the world has been working for decades anticipating what happened in the last week but look what happened. Buildings supposed to be resistant to tremors & quakes & mud slides all gave in to Mother Nature. In California & Australia, bush fires cost the people billions of dollars every year. Mudslides in Central & South America; hurricanes in the Caribbean & the Gulf of Mexico. Tornadoes in the USA, monsoons & typhoons & floods in India, Bangladesh, & most of South East Asia & severe climatic change & flooding in Europe.
Mean while in Africa, I do not believe that we can say that Mother Nature has dealt us a bad hand. Compared to the day-to-day news of natural disasters, we have fared pretty well.
Is it famine caused by desert encroachment, locusts, and queala birds that we cannot control? Are these our reasons for so many premature deaths, malnutrition, & diseases? Ours is home made: Imagine if what just hit Japan had hit an African country, just imagine it.
While enjoying the sweeter part of Nature, we are constantly working at disrupting Nature on its violent path; can we win? I doubt it.
Japan, one of the most advanced countries in the world has been working for decades anticipating what happened in the last week but look what happened. Buildings supposed to be resistant to tremors & quakes & mud slides all gave in to Mother Nature. In California & Australia, bush fires cost the people billions of dollars every year. Mudslides in Central & South America; hurricanes in the Caribbean & the Gulf of Mexico. Tornadoes in the USA, monsoons & typhoons & floods in India, Bangladesh, & most of South East Asia & severe climatic change & flooding in Europe.
Mean while in Africa, I do not believe that we can say that Mother Nature has dealt us a bad hand. Compared to the day-to-day news of natural disasters, we have fared pretty well.
Is it famine caused by desert encroachment, locusts, and queala birds that we cannot control? Are these our reasons for so many premature deaths, malnutrition, & diseases? Ours is home made: Imagine if what just hit Japan had hit an African country, just imagine it.
patrick hornblower: ANOTHER EXCELLENT SATURDAY;YOUR SCHOOL MATES ARE A...
patrick hornblower: ANOTHER EXCELLENT SATURDAY;YOUR SCHOOL MATES ARE A...: "It's a well planned saturday. While some Arabs are rioting/protesting some KCOBs (Kings College old Boys) have put together a peaceful demon..."
ANOTHER EXCELLENT SATURDAY;YOUR SCHOOL MATES ARE ALWAYS THE BEST
It's a well planned saturday. While some Arabs are rioting/protesting some KCOBs (Kings College old Boys) have put together a peaceful demonstration at my place. Obviously it will become noisy after a couple of their favourite tipple. As the event manager, I have a very nourishing & diverse menu; 1) Ministrone soup 2)Shrimp & chicken with macaroni salad 3) Efo elegusi with panla supported by a well fried stew with orishirishi eran & some grilled chicken. Mouth watering ain't it. & dnt forget there's soccer & cricket on telly.
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patrick hornblower: MUST YOUR PASTOR ALWAYS BE RIGHT
patrick hornblower: MUST YOUR PASTOR ALWAYS BE RIGHT: "Just watched Pastor Adeboye's(RCCG general overseer) interview on CNN & I believe most of it was a 'FAUX PAS'. He believes Christianity shou..."
MUST YOUR PASTOR ALWAYS BE RIGHT
Just watched Pastor Adeboye's(RCCG general overseer) interview on CNN & I believe most of it was a 'FAUX PAS'. He believes Christianity should be involved in politics; Christians are the ones to show the way & worst of all, we should only result to prayers; he does not favour protests as they may lead to loss of life. Is he in touch with the real world. If prayers were going to save Nigeria, by now we should have achieved a state of Utopia.
I do not discard prayers(I rather say meditation) & I believe they do help for one to concentrate & eliminate other distractions but to have religions participating in politics in a secular state as ours is a call for disaster.
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I do not discard prayers(I rather say meditation) & I believe they do help for one to concentrate & eliminate other distractions but to have religions participating in politics in a secular state as ours is a call for disaster.
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LIFE OH LIFE
Life!!!! You are blessed when your life is made up of 80% good news to 20% bad news. But no do no do, they both complete the cycle of life. Babies are born, people die, accidents happen, jobs are lost, employment gained & so there are profits & there are losses. One must endeavour to keep the ratios favourable & to do that one must reject the 7(is it 5,6, or 7) deadly sins
As we were eating & drinking, we sobered up to render the school song for a classmate, Dammy Horsfall who passed on some few days back.
I have noticed that my mates that have passed on were over indulgent in one way or the other.
Some how or the other I am surviving. The luck of the Irish maybe!!!!!
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As we were eating & drinking, we sobered up to render the school song for a classmate, Dammy Horsfall who passed on some few days back.
I have noticed that my mates that have passed on were over indulgent in one way or the other.
Some how or the other I am surviving. The luck of the Irish maybe!!!!!
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Sunday, January 23, 2011
THE TROUBLE WITH THE LETTER 'H'
There's this Tribe from a certain part of the country that decided a very long time ago that the letter 'H' was a useless letter & they vowed to drop it in their speech. So they all opened their windows & flung the letter 'H' out. It was'nt the only letter that they had problems with but it was the most irritating. There was letter 'V' which they pronounced as 'F' & 'CH' became 'SH'.
Pa Yekini, a very honest hard working man had problems with his son a 1st year student at University. The boy was not regular in class & whenever his father chided him, he did not mince words by letting him know that he had serious interest in music. Pa Yekini " Then why dnt you sing in the shursh, Pastor Shuks can guide you?" His son responded that Pastor Chuks is his manager & described the kind of music he was going into. Pa yekini called on Pastor Chuks who welcomed him & asked after his health. Pa yekini " am fery well tank you but more important is my son Yekini, he seems to be wasting his life; he says he's going into music & that you are the manager. As a matter of fact he said the type of music is called IP-OP".
This reminds me of my Art teacher whose assignment went thus: "I want a drawing with the caption 'At ome in my ouse'.
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Pa Yekini, a very honest hard working man had problems with his son a 1st year student at University. The boy was not regular in class & whenever his father chided him, he did not mince words by letting him know that he had serious interest in music. Pa Yekini " Then why dnt you sing in the shursh, Pastor Shuks can guide you?" His son responded that Pastor Chuks is his manager & described the kind of music he was going into. Pa yekini called on Pastor Chuks who welcomed him & asked after his health. Pa yekini " am fery well tank you but more important is my son Yekini, he seems to be wasting his life; he says he's going into music & that you are the manager. As a matter of fact he said the type of music is called IP-OP".
This reminds me of my Art teacher whose assignment went thus: "I want a drawing with the caption 'At ome in my ouse'.
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Sunday, January 2, 2011
HOUSEHELPS, DOMESTICS
Note the difference: You'll soon be able to employ househelps yafoo, yafoo. A month ago, about the 1st week of December, a majority of househelps resigned their jobs; one grandfather, grandmother, or some relation or the other has died again & they have to go for the burial & they never come back. I've fallen prey to this once too often & yet I have'nt learnt.
Come 1st December, my very dumb houseboy whom I liked bcos he was dumb & stupid said he stopped working with immediate effect.
Oh shocks!!!! How about my New year party; what about my Wife's b/d; who's going to clean up after my xmas cooking. Any way my wife solved that by zooming of to Dubai for the Hols.
The fact is that when I told this young boy of 20yrs of age that his money was not on hand, he staged a protest that he would not leave the house until he got his money.
Was I infuriated!!! This was a classic repitition of the previous year. The housegirl then said she was not going nowhere until she got her dues. In that instance she was outside of the house so she could go no where as far as I was concerned. This time the houseboy was inside the house & said he was not leaving the house untill he got paid. Is this a game of Poker or what??? So I said to him that he would not be getting one kobo until he was outside of my house. He sat on the carpetted floor & when I was ready to go out I locked him in, seealed the toilet , the kitchen etcetc. Before I drove out he yelled for help; I let him out & told him to come for his pay some 2 days later which I regretted, bcos the young lady who did this same thing previously I kept waiting for a whole month.
One thing that baffles me is the energy we exert following up what these helps are supposed to do. "You dnt sweep here, you dnt dust here, that plate is not properly washed & so on so forth" Cant we do without these people? Yes we can if properly structured.One thing is that we domestically a lazy lot.
WE go to offices & exhibit mental energy but cannot stand the strain of straightning the bed.
Come 1st December, my very dumb houseboy whom I liked bcos he was dumb & stupid said he stopped working with immediate effect.
Oh shocks!!!! How about my New year party; what about my Wife's b/d; who's going to clean up after my xmas cooking. Any way my wife solved that by zooming of to Dubai for the Hols.
The fact is that when I told this young boy of 20yrs of age that his money was not on hand, he staged a protest that he would not leave the house until he got his money.
Was I infuriated!!! This was a classic repitition of the previous year. The housegirl then said she was not going nowhere until she got her dues. In that instance she was outside of the house so she could go no where as far as I was concerned. This time the houseboy was inside the house & said he was not leaving the house untill he got paid. Is this a game of Poker or what??? So I said to him that he would not be getting one kobo until he was outside of my house. He sat on the carpetted floor & when I was ready to go out I locked him in, seealed the toilet , the kitchen etcetc. Before I drove out he yelled for help; I let him out & told him to come for his pay some 2 days later which I regretted, bcos the young lady who did this same thing previously I kept waiting for a whole month.
One thing that baffles me is the energy we exert following up what these helps are supposed to do. "You dnt sweep here, you dnt dust here, that plate is not properly washed & so on so forth" Cant we do without these people? Yes we can if properly structured.One thing is that we domestically a lazy lot.
WE go to offices & exhibit mental energy but cannot stand the strain of straightning the bed.
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